just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
