I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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