walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
