Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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