you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
