HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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