My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
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