Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
