We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize