I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
