I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
