I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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