i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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