I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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