I'm going to jail i love you
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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