So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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