spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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