so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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