hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
