these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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