you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
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