dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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