What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
