I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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