Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
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Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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