Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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