Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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