Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
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