That's when you crack a 10am beer
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
