i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize