I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
