I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize