can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
