therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
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