I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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