just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
