well most of my day revolves around power hour
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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