For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
