So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Randomize
