you will always have a special place in my vag
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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