I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
