dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Randomize
