last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
