It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
