is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
