is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
