Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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