My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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