As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
