they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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