Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
