What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
