I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
