I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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